The past weeks were… mmm… intense. I was always angry. I was always criticizing other people around me (verbally and in my mind). I only saw things that were negative. My heart was filled with bitterness and so was my mouth.
Yesterday…
Morning. God prepared my heart to what was to come that day. I was meditating on 2 Timothy 2.
(12b) Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. (23) Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. (24) And the Lord’s servant MUST NOT QUARREL; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
Afternoon. What started as a healthy argument with Hubby turned into a heated argument. Instead of support and encouragement, negative words won’t stop coming out of my mouth. I was disheartened and so was he. Being a godly husband, he didn’t just let it pass. We talked about what had happened. He told me what I did and how it made him feel. I asked forgiveness and he in turn forgave me.
Evening. On our daily devotion, we learned the simple phrase… “In my opinion” It would have made a huge difference on our conversation if I just added that little phrase on my speech.
Today…
I am thankful that God is a God of forgiveness and second chance. I pray that God will give me strength to face the day with love and kindness.
Are you always gentle when you speak?
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Yes, of course I am always gentle when I speak! Isn’t every one?
Oh…did you miss that sarcasm?
This is a battle I have to fight constantly. For me it starts with Phil. 2:3: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Because inevitably, the biggest reason my words come out less than gentle is because in my pride I think what I have to say/think/do is more important that what others have to say/think/do. I have to battle constantly to keep myself from complaining if something is not done “right” (who am I to say what is or isn’t right? I am not the be all end all of washing dishes!), or if the kiddos excitedly all talk at once, I must fight not to scream, “QUIET!!!”…and Heaven forbid I should ever think I have all the answers to every little issue–surprisingly enough, my husband occasionally likes to think he can figure some things out on his own! (sorry, my sarcasm button is stuck on autopilot this evening…)
You are not alone. We all go through these seasons. Keep praying and seeking God’s help in bridling that horrible thing called a tongue. Whenever you catch yourself being negative, stop and focus on ten things for which you are thankful. Be intentional on LOOKING for ways to praise others–especially when you don’t feel like it…and especially praise God when you start feeling the burden of negativity–He really knows how to lighten the load!
Oh…and I don’t know what you listen to media-wise, but I have found that what I watch/listen to really affects my mood. When I listen to talk radio, I feel smarter, but my attitude suffers. When I listen to Christian music, sermons, etc. I notice a huge change in my attitude. If you have found an overwhelming amount of unaccounted for negativity, see what media you can turn off…it might help.
I love that your husband recognized the sin issue you were struggling with and called you on it and I love that you were humble enough to admit it and ask for forgiveness. Both are signs of people who are seeking to please God and He will bless you for your faithfulness. Keep seeking Him!
Why?! Why do you always make me cry! I’m so thankful for you… always! Can you give me a hug right now? *sniff sniff* Thanks for the comfort. And thanks for letting me know that I am not alone!
That’s why I mentioned Matthew 12:34. It’s not just about getting angry or any outward expression/speech/action. I know I need a heart check. I must have been spending more time on other things (work work work) than “seeking” God which is more important than anything. Each morning God reminds me that He is more important but I still struggle with the things that need to get done, etc. And now comes Matthew 6:33!
Argh.. But I thank God that each morning is a new day! =)
There are days, specially when I’m having PMS, when I’m sungit and angry all the time too!
peachkins recently posted..Breakfasts in Bellaroca Island
Hay hirap talaga pigilin ang bibig minsan!
When I get angry, I play with my children. That’s all.
We need patience.
cocomino recently posted..Hiking 01 : “Tumurata Lake” 円良田湖
Wow, that is the other way around for others. They stay away from their children when they get angry! You know, some kids make parents lose their patience!
What a powerful quote from Timothy – I don’t think I’ve ever read it! (yes, that shows my lack of Bible knowledge). It’s so perfect for so many things. I want to keep it in mind with my girls too. Thanks for sharing your heart here today!
Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..No Guarantee
Thanks, Missy! I thank God for giving us the opportunity to read the Bible openly. There are lots of places in the world where Bibles are illegal!